There's Always A First Time in Space Fleet
by ConstantComment
Summary: There were many times that Kurt Hummel deeply regretted joining Space Fleet. But, looking back on it all, knowing what he knew now, he wouldn't change a thing.


**Title:** There's Always A First Time In Space Fleet

**Rating:** NC-17 (X)

**Length:** ~8,120

**Summary:** There were many times that Kurt Hummel deeply regretted joining Space Fleet. But, looking back on it all, knowing what he knew now, he wouldn't change a thing.

**Warnings:** Space-agedness, aliens, sheep references, zero-gravity sex, minor character death, flangst, Kurt/ Rachel friendship (yeah, I went there). Also, Artie and Mercedes are not a part of the crew, but they do have cameo appearances.

**Author's Notes:** Gacked a few ideas from Star Trek (old and new)! Other than that, this is a pretty random sci-fi AU that got a little out of hand. Like, eight thousand words out of hand. It was going to be longer but then I knocked some sense into myself. Feel free to ask questions if you are confused by any of the scientific mumbo-jumbo. It's half-fake, but I tried to use legitimate-sounding descriptors. Also, apologies for the angst. Not sure where it came from. But there is a happy ending and plenty of giggles along the way.

-x-

The first time Kurt boarded a spaceship, he'd locked himself out of his room, mistakenly eaten tofurkey in the canteen and had been bowled over by an Executive Officer who made a strange nursery rhyme reference before leaving him to peel himself off the floor between the Command Center and the Training Rooms. Yes, it _was_ a lot to take.

"Watch it, Bo Peep," some asshole grunted after knocking Kurt to the floor. Of course. He'd only been _minding his own damn business_.

He didn't say a word because the guy wore the uniform of an Officer (the lowest rank, but still), but more so because he was scared shitless of everyone and every _thing_ on this spaceship.

He'd only just boarded the Aquila three hours ago.

"Cadet."

Kurt scrambled to his feet and spun around, meeting a young Commanding Officer, who towered over Kurt by a good 5 inches. He wore the tag, "23800" and below it, "M. Chang." The first three digits matched Kurt's.

"Yes, sir," Kurt answered, trying not to break form and rub a hand over his (surely) bruised tailbone.

"Just checking to see if you were alright, sprawled all over the floor like a corpse. It appears you're just fine, though," he cocked a thin black eyebrow. "Hummel…" he muttered, peering at Kurt's tag. "You're one of mine."

"Yes, sir," Kurt said, nodding a bit too enthusiastically.

"Chill out with the 'sirs'," Officer Chang chuckled. "Name's Mike. Or Captain Mike, when I'm feeling pretentious. Morris and I want to be familiar with all our flock."

"Kurt. My name is Kurt." He held out his hand.

"Not that familiar." Mike grinned. "I'll be sure to remember your name, Kurt, but _you_ need to remember that you're—" He glanced at Kurt's serial number. "—23817."

All Kurt could do was look down at his tag in despair. _So much for 'making a name for oneself' by applying to Space Fleet, Class of 3016._

"Follow me, Kurt. Check-in is in a couple of minutes anyway. Think you can stand to arrive a little early?" His future Captain smiled, and extended an arm in the direction Kurt had _not_ been heading.

Mike seemed like a nice guy (and that was good, because they'd be living in close quarters for the foreseeable future), but as of right now, Kurt deeply regretted signing up for the armed forces in space.

It had seemed pretty nifty at the time.

-x-

The first time Kurt saw Finn Hudson was in the briefing that followed his run-in with the Officer (the one who'd called him Bo Peep for some reason), and Kurt made a complete fool of himself. Or, at least, that's kind of how it felt.

"Evening, sheepies," Mike addressed the group of eight Cadets lined up in the small receiving room. Kurt smiled slightly when Mike's eyes passed over him. Mike ignored him.

"Evening, sir," was the general, confused, response.

"I am Captain Chang, and this," Mike said, gesturing to the pretty blonde to his left, who smiled vaguely, side bangs falling into her eyes even with her tight ponytail, "is the lovely Executive Officer Morris. We are your Space Fleet trainers and future Commanders."

Kurt looked around at the others—at his future shipmates—wondering who was his roommate (the guy hadn't shown up for dinner) and who would cause the first scene.

"We're going to do role-call, just to revisit high school, and then we'll be through with that forever."

"Since we'll all be best friends," Officer Morris added, pulling out a flat, metallic thing that reminded Kurt of those digital book readers from his childhood.

Mike rolled his eyes, but gestured for her to begin without comment.

"Berry, Rachel."

"Present!" the brunette with the big nose chirped, white teeth flashing with her enunciation.

Linguistics, most definitely. Loud mouth and a drama queen, Kurt hypothesized.

"Position?"

"Communications Officer."

_Spot on,_ Kurt thought.

"Cohen-Chang, Tina."

"P-present." Tina was a short woman with sleek black hair and pretty slanted eyes and, unfortunately, a stutter. Kurt couldn't be sure about her. She was shy. "Navigation Officer."

"Lopez, San… Santah-na?"

"Santana, like Mon-_tana_?" The other brunette, this one with a nice face but not so nice attitude (which was now apparent), snapped at Officer Morris. "Helm Officer."

No, shit. That was obvious. Control freak, always ordering people around. The wanna-be captain who ended up taking orders instead.

They went down the line, calling Fabray the Doctor, then Hudson, who was devastatingly handsome in a high school heartthrob sort of way, distracting Kurt from the fact that he was the Chief Helm Officer. He had dark brown hair, bright brown eyes, a funny quirk in his lips like a permanent smile, and a bit of a height problem. As in he was at least a couple inches taller than Mike. All the same, Kurt wouldn't mind taking a look at the wires under his helm.

As if he'd said it out loud, Hudson looked sideways at Kurt and frowned a little, probably wondering who the creep was with the Ken doll hair and dwarfism.

"Hummel, Kurt."

Kurt jumped a little, and winced at his ridiculousness before he answered. "Present. Chief Engineering Officer."

Realizing five minutes later that this Hudson fellow—Finn?—would be his roommate, Kurt emphasized his earlier monologue of regrets and misgivings about Space Fleet. This was going to be utter torture.

-x-

The first time Kurt and Finn bonded was after a rather unfortunate incident in the cafeteria involving Cadets from the 298 'flock'. Their Arms Specialist was a complete douche, concluded after he and his buddies had cornered Kurt by the water fountain and proceeded to make gay jokes, which escalated until full out slurs were being thrown in Kurt's face.

The big, bulky guy, Karofsky?—some "skee" name—had his tray of Stroganoff in one hand, poised for attack when Finn had cut in, towering over the rest, face scrunched into an angry sneer.

"Jesus, guys, what the fuck is your problem?"

"Jesus, guuuys," the Co-Pilot mimicked.

Finn held Kurt's wrist in an iron grip and proceeded to tell the bullies to "fuck off," but not before Karofsky had plastered grey-brown sauce and egg noodles all down Kurt's new uniform.

Finn had chivalrously walked Kurt back to their "Command Camp," making bad, but heartfelt jokes along the way about how Russian stew flattered his complexion and he should try Irish next time.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked after placing his hand over the reader, letting them into their room.

"Yeah," Kurt sighed, struggling to get out of the shirt without getting beef and mushroom sauce on his face. (He'd done his weekly facial mask just this morning!) He got the shirt stuck around his forehead and whimpered pathetically until Finn helped him out of it.

"You're kinda hopeless," Finn chuckled.

"I just wish they'd man up, you know?" Kurt turned away quickly and got another shirt as Finn tossed the soiled one in their hamper. "It's not high school anymore. Also, not all gays like fashion, and disco, and Broadway—and _cross-dressing_ and every fucking man they lay their eyes on!" Kurt picked up his pillow and threw it on the bed.

Finn glanced at Kurt's small photo collage of Julie Andrews, Barbra Streisand and Bernadette Peters, but didn't comment.

"It's like—all you straight guys think you're irresistible or something. Newsflash, not all women find you attractive so why would all gay men?" Kurt picked up the pillow again and threw it a few more times.

Finn nodded. "That's legit."

"It is," Kurt huffed, jumping onto his bed and curling up with the abused pillow.

"Dude, I'm sorry they're treating you that way. But… we'll be out of here in a month, spinning around in the big old vacuum, so… think positive, I guess?"

Kurt smiled. "Thanks, Finn," he said, fingers tracing lightly over the new bruises where his roommate had gripped his wrist in indignant anger.

"It's nothing, dude. I'm your friend, right?"

Finn was wrong. It was everything.

"Now," Finn began, as if the whole food fiasco had never happened. "Are you totally psyched out for the battle simulation tomorrow afternoon? I'm friggin' nervous."

Kurt looked up at Finn who was sort of bouncing on his toes. "Not really. It's Mike and Morris who are being tested, anyway. It's for them to 'take command' or whatever."

"I'm gonna have to steer through an asteroid belt or something."

"And I'll have to repair anything you guys break." Kurt smirked. "You, at least, have a co-pilot to help you out."

"True. Santana's good, too."

"Not as good as you, though."

Finn ruffled Kurt's hair. "Thanks, man."

"Whatever. You're the _'Chief_ Navigating Officer'."

"Dude, if it weren't for you, the ship wouldn't run at all. You're the most important."

Kurt blushed. "How about let's cease the 'No, you're awesome's and go to bed."

Finn laughed.

-x-

The first time Kurt felt the bitter taste of jealousy (at least in space) was when Finn first invited a girl back to the room. It was a surprise actually, because Kurt had really thought it would be the Co-Pilot. Kurt was gay, and all, but anyone could recognize that Lopez was a bit of a babe. He'd been wrong. It was Quinn Fabray, or Doc, as the flock had started to call her a couple days in.

They'd practically ignored him as they flirted, perched on Finn's bunk like little pubescent teens. Kurt wondered why they weren't fucking already, and then he realized he was still in the room. Feeling like a huge idiot for not understanding—and mostly for being left in the dark about Finn's plans during the only free time slot this week—Kurt shut his laptop and left without a word.

_He should have told me,_ Kurt thought over and over as he walked down Hall 238.

Not wanting to "chill" with Matt the Arms Specialist and Puck the Nurse (the alliteration worked better with his real first name, but whatever), who were okay but slightly ape-like in their testosterone-induced haze, Kurt slinked sheepishly over to Tina and Rachel's room, feeling bummed out beyond belief.

"W-where's Finn?" Tina asked as she looked up from a romance novel. Rachel was curled up in bed with her music player, but looked up when Kurt responded.

"He's with a girl," he sighed. "With Doc."

Rachel sat up in bed, pulling the headphones off and patting the edge. "You know," she said, "When I was in high school, I used to put a gold star next to my name whenever I signed something."

Kurt's face probably gave away everything he was not saying at the moment.

"Hear me out," she continued, patting her bed again.

Kurt shook his head and hopped up, smoothing over the crinkles so he wouldn't have to pretend he was listening avidly to her every word. He'd once thought he'd be a star, too.

_So much for that dream,_ his inner voice snarked.

"Because I thought I was destined for stardom, fame, greatness. Greatness on stage."

Kurt snorted. "That does not surprise me."

"I know," Rachel admitted. "I am a bit of a queen."

"Not as much as Kurt is," Tina muttered, glancing up from her book to share a grin with Kurt.

"Whore," he said lightly.

Tina rolled her eyes. "Am not! I h-have a boyfriend back home. He wanted to join but he's in a hoverchair, so they c-couldn't accept his application."

"I'm sure Kurt only meant that in the kindest, most pleasant way," Rachel said. "Anyway, I saw your Broadway diva poster on your wall the other day. It's kind of an understatement to say I was excited."

"I'm a huge fan of the old classics," Kurt began, allowing himself for the time being to forget that Finn was probably fucking Quinn at the moment (the way their names rhymed was _atrocious_).

"Me, too. Although I do love _Spring Awakening_ and _Wicked_."

"The Wicked Soundtrack is my _ultimate_ shower mix," Kurt enthused.

"And, God, Jonathan Groff was _so_ cute!"

"Too bad for you that he was gay!" Kurt smirked.

"Yes, well, he's much too old for us, anyway."

"As in 'dead'?"

Rachel ignored his snappy remark in favor of more enthusing about show tunes. "Those two albums are in my 'Most Played' playlist."

"Eugh," Tina mock gagged. "Can you guys _please_ diva out somewhere else?"

"Put on your headphones," Rachel and Kurt said.

They shared a look.

"You know, I thought you were a bit too much for me," Kurt began, crossing his legs and tapping his lips with a finger. "You're a loud mouth and your hair lacks any volume, but we have too much in common for me to pretend we're not friends."

"I think that made sense," Rachel mumbled, picking up a lock of her hair and looking sadly at it as if it had hurt her feelings.

"Sorry," Kurt sighed. "I'm a bit dramatic, too."

Rachel shrugged, flicking her hair over her shoulder, and asking, "So, how did such a diva as yourself get into engineering instead of showbiz?"

They talked nearly until lights out, but Kurt pulled away to check and see if he could get into his room without being exposed to full-frontal nudity (of the unsexy variety). He knocked on the door before placing his hand on the reader.

Finn was throwing a small foam ball through a makeshift hoop above the door to their washroom, looking kind of bored and not at all like he'd just had a couple orgasms.

"Hey," Kurt said quietly.

"Hey, bud," Finn said after the ball bounced off the rim. He turned around. "Where've you been? You kinda disappeared."

"I went to hang out with Rachel and Tina."

"Oh, okay," Finn said, smiling slightly.

"How was Quinn?"

"She's good. She's really nice when you get to know her. We talked about where we grew up and stuff. Seems like she had a tough time in high school, I think. Space Fleet Prep wasn't too great either, from what she says."

"I see," Kurt mumbled, toeing his shoes off and climbing up on his bed. "She seems to like you a lot."

Finn frowned. "I hope so. I like people to like me. I mean… you like me a lot, too, don't you?"

Kurt had the sudden urge to tackle and hug the hell out of this man, but barely held back.

"Yeah," Kurt said quickly, gulping. "We're roommates. Good friends."

"Good, 'cause you're like my best friend."

"Really?" Kurt choked out.

Finn nodded giving Kurt another one of his goofy grins.

"What about Puck?"

"Puck's cool to play sports and talk about girls and stuff with, but if I ever wanna geek out about cars or spaceships or—"

"Music?"

"Yeah! Or talk about important things, then it's always gonna be you."

Kurt blushed. "So…" he began, eager to change the subject so he could get out of blush-territory. "What do you think Morris' first name is? It's probably hideous, since Morris is a better choice. I vote Belinda."

-x-

The first time Finn noticed Kurt, or rather Kurt noticed Finn noticing Kurt—anyway, this was just a hunch—was when he walked in on him during their weekly free-time slot. Kurt had been… well, he'd been masturbating, but Finn had said he was playing virtual ping-pong with Matt down at the gym.

Kurt had everything planned out. He had his illegally downloaded porno—a half-hour piece that starred a leggy blonde boy and a brown-haired muscular guy with a small hoop in one ear, who were supposedly boarding schoolboys exploring their sexuality. The script was terrible (one can't expect much) but the sex was good. And he had an hour to watch it, so it couldn't _not_ work! He'd shower afterward and everything.

The actors kissed tentatively at first, and of course, Kurt was immediately hard—kissing always got him off much faster than the stupid dirty-talk that was usually so overdone. The bottom was surprisingly more aggressive, pushing the brunet back into the red leather couch by his shoulders and straddling him, quickly unzipping his khaki pants and pulling them and his nice Armani Exchange briefs off entirely. Soon they were both naked save for their matching ties, and kissing, writhing against one another with their ridiculously large cocks. The brunet wedged a leg between the blonde's, tearing a loud moan from the other's lips as he attacked his neck with mouthy kisses, causing the blonde to arch his back just so.

Kurt nestled into his pillows and clumsily pushed his boxers down to his thighs, reaching between his own legs, stroking his cock slowly before moving past it and fondling his balls.

"Brett, I want you sooo bad," the blonde groaned.

"Suck my cock," said Brett in response.

The blonde licked his way down Brett's chiseled torso to reach his shaven cock, red with arousal, and immediately deep-throated him, doing all sorts of things with his tongue that Kurt had never even thought possible, considering the size of the dick filling the guy's mouth.

He returned to his cock, now hard as rock, and spread his legs, wrapping his fingers around the girth and squeezing, pumping, twisting his hand, trying to imagine it was someone else giving him pleasure, maybe even wishing…

"Aw, fuuuck, Chase," Brett moaned, grabbing the hair at the nape of Chase's neck and pulling him off, abruptly turning him around on the couch and tonguing his way down his slim back before spreading the cheeks of his ass and tonguing there too.

Chase gasped, time and time again, and each time Kurt pumped a little faster, wondering what it felt like.

Soon Brett backed off, slapped a condom on, poured lube directly on Chase's hole and pushed in, gripping Chase's hips with his big hands, mouth hanging open and eyes hazy. They carried on for a couple of minutes before switching positions, this time bringing Chase up to sit in Brett's lap. He wrapped his arm around Brett's neck and turned just so, so they could share a wanton kiss before Brett began to really push it.

Kurt gasped himself, watching as the camera angled in, and felt his stomach coil tightly. He lifted his hips off the bed, barely able to keep the laptop steady and was almost—there—

And many, many things happened at once. He heard the door beep—a signal that Finn was coming back (_EARLY._)—and slammed his laptop shut, but not before Finn had spotted him with his pants down and his hand on his cock.

"Oh, shi—uh…" Finn turned away as Kurt scrambled helplessly to right himself. He'd almost thrown the computer off his bed! He probably looked like a hot mess and his hand was sticky with pre-come and lube. "Sorry! I didn't know—"

"It's fine, Finn," Kurt blurted out, high-pitched and choked. "I just… I'll be in the bathroom for a sec."

He fled.

The bathroom was thankfully cool, so he managed to will his erection away quickly, although his body still hummed with excitement and now, butterflies. He washed his hands and splashed water on his face, actually successfully fighting the embarrassed tears before returning to the room.

"Hey," Finn said, plumping up his pillows and climbing into bed. He'd taken the time Kurt was away to change into his pajamas, apparently.

"I'm—I'm really sorry," Kurt said, face flushing.

Finn smiled and shrugged. "Dude, it's cool. I just wasn't expecting it. Obviously."

"Why'd you come back early?" Kurt asked, barely keeping the whine from his voice.

"Oh! Mike and Morris passed! We'll be taking a test drive of the Tarazed on Wednesday, which means we'll be out of here in a week!" Finn shot his fists in the air like a little kid. "We won't be sheep anymore!"

He sighed, glad that Finn was past the complete _fiasco_ from five minutes ago, even if Kurt was still blushing to his toes. Thankfully they wouldn't have to talk about it. "It was about time. I mean, we took that test three times."

"Yeah. Too bad we didn't get the Altair."

Kurt shrugged. "The Tarazed sounds more sophisticated. And it's newer, so I won't have to deal with so much shit in the first month."

They descended into silence, Finn tracing the seam of one of his pillows and Kurt standing awkwardly in the middle of the room in his sleeping boxers, which were still a little sticky. At least Finn wouldn't be able to see that.

"I'm sorry that you didn't get to…." Finn gestured vaguely. "You know."

Kurt turned away, placing his laptop in the slot in the wall to charge and climbing into bed as well. "Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

"…Was it at least at the beginning?"

Kurt's nostrils flared in annoyance, not because he didn't like talking about these things, but because these things usually involved a soapy, wet Finn. "No. It wasn't."

"Damn. Sorry dude. Was it getting good?"

"Yes," Kurt answered quietly.

Finn was silent for at least thirty seconds before he took a big breath and asked, "So, what was it about?"

"_Why_ are you asking me these questions?" Kurt snapped.

"Because I'm curious!" Finn huffed.

Kurt turned over, pressing the switch above his bed and dimming the lights. "I don't really want to tell you."

"C'mon! I'll tell you my favorite porn movie if you tell me."

"I don't want to know about your porn movies."

"C'mon."

Kurt blushed. "It's called Crush 2," he said haltingly.

Finn nodded in the near darkness.

"It's about these boys in a boarding school who are bi-curious and decide to try on hardcore fucking for a change."

Finn snorted. "Schoolboys? Were they wearing blazers and silly ties?"

"Of course, they were. It's a fucking _porn video_. And anyway, they didn't wear them for long."

Finn laughed quietly. "Fucking is right."

"Shut up, Finn."

"Okay, so mine this month… is probably..." Finn trailed off, and from the uncomfortable silence, Kurt could tell Finn was either fighting a massive blush or trying to think of something other than his favorite.

"Finn."

"God, I shouldn't have promised."

"I told you mine!"

"I know!"

There was more silence, and Kurt turned and looked at Finn in the darkness. He was picking at the seam of his pillow again.

"Seriously, Finn, I'll punch you."

"It's called Back Door."

Kurt barely held back a surprised, _loud_ bark of laughter. "Is it," he managed finally.

"It's about… do you really want to know?"

"I think I can gather, but you have to tell me anyway."

"So it's this housewife who lets her gardener in from the backyard after her husband leaves—"

"Ohh," Kurt muttered.

"—and they do it in the kitchen a lot, in lots of different ways."

"Like what?"

Finn sighed loudly. "Like a whole lot of positions and then… and it's anal."

"Oh, my God."

"Shut up, Kurt."

"Sorry."

There was silence.

"Thanks for telling me. I think."

"Yeah, well, I did walk in on you, so I figured I could embarrass myself, too so we'd be even."

"Thanks, I guess."

Kurt scooted around until he lay fully on his back, staring up at the skylight (which was actually a space-light, considering, but there was no proper name for that, yet) and at the billions of stars so far out of reach.

"Kurt, when did you know you were gay?"

Kurt frowned. "Since I was 5. I asked for a pair of sensible heels for my birthday. Although lots of people don't figure out that they're gay for a while."

"…Oh."

"Why do you ask?" He turned his head to see Finn looking out the space-light as well.

"Just wondering."

-x-

The first time Finn told Kurt he loved him occurred only several days after leaving the Aquila on the starship Tarazed, bound for planetary system Gilese 581.

Captain Mike had been assigned to the system for several reasons. Number one, one of the four planets in this star's system was known to be a super-Earth, and housed the system's most advanced and dangerous hominoids. Number two, these hominoids, who called themselves the Sannec (phonetically) were not fond of Earth's peace treaties. These peace treaties involved a lot of boundaries and regulations in Earth's favor, disallowing Sannec ships from passing a certain point in their planetary system.

There were rumors of insurgence on the outer rim of the fourth planet's orbit. The Sannec had been known to clash with the Vyah on the fourth planet, and recent reports from Vyah asked for protection from the Space Fleet.

Terrestrian-Martian Alien Nation Centre for Diplomacy had transported a Solar-Vyah and a Solar-Sannec diplomat to perhaps prevent any really unfriendly interaction between the two planets, although there was fear that portions of the Sannec Nation (which normally included all continents under a united oligarchy) had seceded after the peace treaty with the Solar System. There were worries that they planned to overtake the peace-loving Nation of Vyah and continue outwards, travelling outside of their system in hopes of more power.

These diplomats, a Russian and a Southeastern Martian, had arrived on the Tarazed seventy-two hours ago, and were under protection of Intergalactic Security.

The flock was on break, today, as they were 'anchored' to Pluto's orbit, and wouldn't be transporting to Libra for another three days. Break usually meant communication with family, so Kurt and his fellow Officers hovered around the telecom booth, waiting for messages and, hopefully, conversations.

Kurt was lucky to get to the front of the line, and had a wonderful five-minute conversation with Mercedes, who had gotten a job with Teen Vogue in New York and missed him "almost as much as I miss your bitchalicious milkshakes."

When he was finished, Lopez shoved him out of the way, but Finn, who was right behind her, steadied Kurt with a broad hand on his shoulder.

"Wait for me? It'll be less than ten minutes. I only have a voicemail."

"Sure," Kurt answered, backing away to lean against the wall after seeing Finn's big smile.

Lopez only talked for three minutes, proceeding to yell at the person on the end of the line in rapid Spanish. Rachel turned to Puck in line and informed him that she was yelling in Puerto Rican Spanish, to be exact.

Finn allowed Lopez a good foot or two of room before approaching the booth and dialing his number, 23818, and waiting for the message to play.

It was only seconds into the voicemail that Kurt realized something was terribly wrong.

Finn stood, expressionless, with the earbud hanging from his ear, but his face had lost all color. His eyes were unfocused, but when Kurt called out to him, his head snapped up, and he seemed to regain his footing. There was a moment where he looked like he would cry, his brow wrinkling and his chin wobbling slightly, but he just hung up and walked straight at Kurt.

Everyone watched, confused, as Finn grabbed Kurt's wrist and pulled him down the hall, turning this was and that. Kurt realized they were going back to their room.

Finn never spoke, just strode toward their destination with such determination that Kurt was extremely worried by the time they reached their hallway. Finn's fist was clenched, knuckles white, but he made it to their door without revealing anything.

Unfortunately, the reader had other plans.

Finn, whose palms were sweaty, swiped his hand over the reader eight times before yelling brokenly and covering his eyes with his hand.

Kurt pried Finn's fingers from his wrist and put a steadying hand on his arm before swiping them in.

He brought Finn to his bed without a word, climbing up next to him and reaching tentatively to rest his hand against Finn's neck.

They sat for only seconds before Finn began to cry, big salty tears streaking down his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, unable to keep the distress from his voice. He _hated_ seeing Finn like this. "Finn? Please tell me."

Finn bowed his head and pulled at his hair. "My…"

"Finn?" Kurt bit his lip to try and stop himself from falling apart too, when he didn't even know what was happening.

"My mom's dead."

Kurt swallowed and pulled Finn into a hug, wrapping his arms around Finn's neck and carding his fingers through his soft hair. "Finn," he murmured.

Finn hugged him back, tightly, like he'd never let go, and sobbed into Kurt's neck.

They sat like that for so long that Finn couldn't cry anymore and Kurt's legs felt like they were being pricked by thousands of little needles. Kurt tried to move but Finn grabbed his hip so he wouldn't go.

"I'm not going anywhere. My legs are just asleep."

Finn nodded and crawled up to his pillows, and Kurt joined him, opening his arms in case Finn might want more affection.

Apparently he did, because he nestled into Kurt's neck and fisted a hand in his uniform, lying there quietly.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered finally. "I'm so, so sorry."

Finn squeezed him round the middle, but otherwise stayed silent.

Kurt brought his hand to rest in Finn's hair, again, hoping that he could give some sort of comfort, however little. "Finn, I—"

"I love you, too," Finn mumbled quietly.

That wasn't at all what Kurt was going to say, but he didn't dare correct him. Instead, he curled tighter around Finn, wishing that he could have heard those words in happier circumstances. Not for himself, but for Finn.

He fell asleep to the sound of Finn's snuffly breathing.

-x-

The first time Kurt kissed, was seduced by, and had sex with Finn was surprisingly on the very same day that he first experienced zero-gravity. And yes, one might think it was all very sudden. Because it was.

Kurt never was one for subtlety. And neither was Finn, apparently.

A darker version of Finn had walked the halls of the Tarazed ever since his mother's death, and most everyone tried to steer clear in hopes that, when he was ready, he would come back to them the cheerful, clumsily lovable self he was.

He only really talked to Kurt nowadays, and Kurt wasn't complaining, but it was sad to see him struggle to come to terms with the fact that he'd never see her again, without ever talking about it.

Kurt had wheedled out of Morris that Finn's mother, Carole, had died suddenly after exposure to some product they were testing at the space station where she worked. It had caused a reaction, apparently, and Mike was informed that Finn might react in the same way if he came in contact with it. Although, it wasn't likely that they'd come in contact with the plasma of the force field that protected escape vessels from minor enemy arms.

Finn, however, did not let her death prevent him from performing his duties the best he could. In fact, he threw himself into piloting the Tarazed and performed more admirably than ever. Kurt watched from the back of the command center, to the right of Captain Mike, as Finn pushed himself to do the best every day, leaving Lopez in the dust many a time.

Three months in, only two days before they would intercept the rogue Sannecs, the Officers took an afternoon breather, free to have dinner and a few hours to themselves before they put in three more hours of travel and slept in shifts.

Finn approached Kurt immediately and asked if he wanted to take dinner somewhere other than the canteen, and Kurt readily agreed, not feeling up to dining with the entire crew.

"Have you seen the docks?" Finn asked, picking up a ham sandwich and a bag of chips and waiting for Kurt to select his chicken wrap.

"No," Kurt said, looking at Finn's surprisingly cheery face, wondering how in the world – each time – Finn could make him feel like a colony of butterflies was fluttering in his stomach. "You mean the zero-gravity chambers? We only ever had to repair the wiring in training to return the settings to micro-gravity. I'm not sure why they didn't bother making us repair things in zero-gravity. It would have been more challenging."

Finn nodded. "We should go there, then. It's fun. I can show you the spacecrafts we trained in to get to Officer level."

They walked down seven floors to the hull of the ship, where there were very few crewmembers save for the guards to the docks.

Kurt spent a few moments with his nose plastered to the glass, looking at the large Redas 1 through 5, and the smaller Falcons, twenty-five of them. No matter how old he got, Kurt would always find spaceships fascinating.

Which is why he didn't see Finn bribe the guards away.

"Let's go!" Finn exclaimed, joining Kurt at the door. "We can eat on the balcony. There are strap-in stations along the edge."

Kurt followed him into the antechamber and waited for him to plug in the appropriate codes for the gravity settings to cancel out.

"Ready?"

Kurt looked over at Finn, who pointed at a blue button with the same hand in which he held his sandwich.

_So nonchalant._

Finn pressed the button, and suddenly Kurt felt himself begin to lift off the floor. His hair stood on end and the fabric of his uniform seemed to lift away from his skin. It was like being underwater, but with all the necessities of life at one's fingertips. Oxygen was always a plus.

"This is…" he began.

Finn smiled. "Great, isn't it?" He, apparently, had held on to a bar near the next door, so he was anchored to something, whereas Kurt was stuck in mid-air nearly upside-down. "I've always been tempted to spit and see what happens."

Kurt shook his head exasperatedly, and felt his muscles react differently than they would in normal circumstances.

"Here, grab hold." Finn held out his hand, and luckily Kurt was close enough to grasp it.

They got to the strap-in area—a secluded area made for engineers such as himself to strap in and perform maintenance on the wiring in the hatch below—and ate in silence, enjoying themselves immensely when Finn opened his water bottle and waved it around.

They sipped the floating masses of crystalline liquid from the air.

After Kurt drew a small circle in the air with his own water, catching several in his mouth with a big smile on his face, he noticed Finn's expression.

"What's up?" he asked, batting the water away.

Finn stared at him a moment longer. "I was serious, you know."

Kurt frowned. "Uhh… What about?"

"About loving you."

Kurt jerked around so quickly that a sphere of water splashed against his upper lip. He reared back and brought a hand to wipe the water away, but Finn caught his fingers first.

"I do," Finn muttered and leaned in to capture Kurt's wet lips in a kiss.

Kurt made a sound not unlike a whimper or a surprised gasp, and brought a hand up to comb through Finn's hair. His eyes, wide and watery, watched Finn's eyelashes flutter as he broke the kiss, blowing a puff of air at Kurt in a huff that scattered tiny droplets of water all about them. The bubbles floated around their heads as they looked at each other.

"I'm not going to ask questions," Kurt said.

Finn nodded, ducking to kiss him again. "Good 'cause I don't really have any answers," he replied before pressing against Kurt's lips again.

Kurt's heart beat a mile a minute, and his water bottle floated away, while he gathered the nerve to kiss back. Which he did quite quickly. The alcove was barely a public area anyway with the numbers of people down in the hull.

Soon he found himself alone on the floor, being told to "hold on here" and having his fingers wrapped around a cold railing so Finn could un-velcro him from their seat. He wasn't alone for long. Finn covered Kurt's hand and body with his, grabbing hold of another bar on the hatch door and successfully pinning Kurt to the floor.

Kurt reached up and kissed Finn, slipping his tongue past Finn's parted lips and grazing his teeth, then his tongue lightly. Finn groaned, arching his back and pressing Kurt further down, so no air separated him from the cool metal at his back. With his free hand, Kurt grasped at the hair at the nape of Finn's neck and nipped a path down his jaw, stopping only at his pulse point to suck possessively. Finn groaned in his throat and let go of the hatch to slip his hand beneath Kurt's shirt, fingers trailing up his flat stomach to trace around a nipple, pert from the cool air.

"Finn," Kurt mumbled.

"Mhm," Finn answered, successfully wedging himself between Kurt's thighs and thrusting against him, showing him just how serious he was.

Kurt answered with a sigh, wrapping his arms around Finn's neck. Their noses touched, and for a moment Kurt looked, cross-eyed into Finn's earnest eyes, seeing everything they'd gone through in the past six months. How much this meant to Finn.

Kurt felt his heart open the floodgates and let out everything he'd tried so hard to keep secreted away.

Finn kissed him, nose pressing awkwardly into Kurt's cheek as he swallowed every overwhelming emotion that spilled out of Kurt, and Kurt loved every moment of it.

One hand travelled down to Finn's ass, gripping lightly as he folded his legs more securely about Finn's hips, and pressed into him.

All this kissing…

They broke apart, panting, before Finn dived in to place open-mouthed kisses to Kurt's collarbone, eliciting some rather undignified moans from Kurt's lips, and coaxing his erection to fullness.

Finn moved against him, cock nestled against Kurt's thigh, separated only by a few (too many) thin layers of fabric, while he caressed Kurt's stomach with his thumb.

"I wanna touch you," Kurt whispered, shoulder curling toward his ear when Finn licked a particularly sensitive spot. "Please."

"Fuck, yeah," Finn husked, kissing Kurt again and removing his hand from Kurt's skin.

Kurt heard the zip of Finn's pants before his own pants were being tugged at.

_I guess it's only fair_, he though absently, just before his erection touched hot, silky, hard flesh.

"Oh!"

Finn moaned, hips jerking slightly. "God, can I take them all the way off?"

Kurt bit his lip. "Uh-huh."

Finn pulled Kurt's pants to his knees, and worked extra hard to pull them past Kurt's boots before pulling his over his ass. He looked so debauched, Kurt had a moment where he thought he would come on the spot, but Finn was on him so quickly his orgasm flitted away.

"God, Finn."

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," Kurt mumbled.

"You do?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah."

Finn kissed him, wrapping his long fingers around their cocks and tugging them slowly, making sure their sensitive heads slipped against each other with each pass. His tongue was wicked, flitting against the roof of his mouth before sliding smoothly against Kurt's. Kurt chased his tongue back into Finn's mouth, mapping the contours of the warm cavern.

Distracted, Finn let go of the railing, and it was moments before they realized they were a foot off the ground.

Kurt grabbed at the top of the railing this time, gripping hard so as not to forget, and Finn took the time to slide his palm down Kurt's ribs, past his stomach and over his round ass before dipping his fingers in the cleft of his ass.

Kurt cried out softly, and nodded after only a moment. Finn wetted his fingers before returning them to Kurt's ass, and he teased at his opening for a moment before Kurt pressed down on his finger, enveloping it in tight heat.

Finn finger-fucked him steadily, adding another finger when Kurt began to make little huffing noises on each stroke. He scissored his fingers and added a third, spitting in his other hand and rubbing Kurt's hole as Kurt squeezed him with his thighs.

"Please," Kurt said after several more moments.

The docks were quiet save for the buzz of the fluorescent lights and the huffs of their ragged breathing.

"Can I put it in?"

Kurt held back a 'What, are you, a fifteen-year-old?' and just answered with a breathy, "Yeah."

Finn spat in his hand again and slicked up his cock, withdrawing his fingers from Kurt's ass and gripping the railing again, right next to Kurt's hand. He grabbed Kurt's hip while Kurt grasped his cock, positioning it at his entrance and slowly impaling himself with it.

They both let out small groans when Finn's head breached the tight rings of muscle, and again when he was fully sheathed. There was a moment when they both looked at each other, their eyes wide and their mouths open in lusty wonder.

But, then Kurt attacked Finn's mouth, plundering it with his tongue and lapping excitedly at his lips, while Finn began to thrust in earnest, steadying himself with the hand on Kurt's hip. Kurt's hand snuck between them to grasp at his own leaking cock, and he tugged frantically, trying to keep up with Finn's pace.

"Shit, Kurt—" Finn's consonants were swallowed up by his desire, breath puffing against Kurt's ear before he kissed the flesh below it.

Kurt cried out again, gripping his dick to hold back his orgasm, feeling full and (obviously) lighter than a feather in Finn's arms.

Finn rolled his hips, changing his angle slightly so he could get more power behind his strokes, and ended up sending Kurt over the edge, the head of his cock slipping over Kurt's prostate again and again.

Kurt came loudly, but thankfully not messily, as his come floated away from them rather quickly.

Finn allowed himself a breathy laugh before Kurt's final jerk of the hips pushed him over, too. He jolted, hips rolling frantically as he emptied himself into Kurt's tight heat.

"…Fuck," he said finally.

Kurt was still breathing hard, and he opened his mouth to say something very similar, but an ear-splitting siren interrupted him.

They stared at one another in a millisecond of horror before scrambling to clothe themselves and race toward the door. They pulled at every available surface to get to the door, and thankfully made it before the siren cycled for a fourth time.

"Fuck is right!" Kurt yelled, and received a harried smile before Finn swiped them in and turned on the gravity. Dizzy for a moment, Kurt struggled to keep up with Finn as they sprinted to the elevator.

Thankfully, they had several minutes to catch their breath before meeting everyone in the cockpit.

Finn pressed the button labeled 10, and grinned shyly at Kurt when the doors slid closed.

Kurt laughed. "Well."

"Yeah."

"That was an experience."

"Glad you got to finish, that time," Finn muttered.

Kurt shoved him lightly, beaming. "If I didn't love you I would have kicked you by now."

Finn grabbed him and wrapped him in a quick hug, making sure to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek before the elevator opened.

They walked quickly down the hall. "When this is all over," Finn began, "I want to continue where we left off."

Kurt snorted, remembering his come floating away from them. "We did finish, if you remember."

"I mean… I think you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. I do, too. Want to continue, that is." Kurt brushed his hand over Finn's as they met the door to the Command Center.

Finn was smiling so widely that when they entered the cockpit, Morris stood from her station and exclaimed, "Finn's happy, everyone!"

Mike, who had been pacing around his chair, rolled his eyes and snapped at her. "Brittany, shut up and return to your station. We just received a distress call, folks, not an engagement announcement!"

Everyone paused from frantically tapping at their computer screens and looked around at each other.

"Your name's Brittany?" Rutherford asked.

-x-

The first time that Kurt stepped on home soil as Chief Engineering Officer of the USS Tarazed, Finn was with him. They had taken their yearly vacation at the same time, appointing their best Cadets to take their places for their two weeks off. It was Christmas time, anyway, so now was as good a time as any.

Instead of going to Tahiti or someplace equally exotic as Kurt had imagined when he first joined Space Fleet, Kurt had found himself wanting to go home most. To see his father. And for Finn to meet his father, to see where he grew up.

To see another part of him.

To say he had been incredibly satisfied when Finn cooed over their restored 2084 Maserati hover car was a bit of an understatement.

To say he had been ecstatic when his father welcomed Finn into the family was the understatement of the century.

In their second week, they visited Finn's mother at his family plot in Iowa. Her name, birth, and death date were centered in a small bronze rectangle among many. Snow covered most of the long slab of soldered cubbies, but Finn had quickly brushed the white flecks away from hers, underscoring how she had stood out in Finn's life. Probably the most important person to him. And now she was gone.

She was surrounded by family, though; Kurt took comfort in that. Her husband, Lenny, was in the box to her left. He had died when Finn was very small.

Kurt adjusted his hood and found Finn's hand in the space between them, entwining their fingers. "She loved you," he said, breath puffing out in little clouds of steam.

"Yeah, she did. She was real brave letting me sign up for Space Fleet after Dad and everything."

"She was."

Finn looked at her name for a little while longer, just looked, before placing a small bouquet of flowers (Kurt had picked them out because Finn had no sense of color or design, whatsoever) between she and her husband. "Thanks, Mom."

They walked back to the hover car hand-in-hand, and only let go when Finn let Kurt into the passenger's seat. Kurt kissed him on his cold cheek after he put his seatbelt on, lips brushing over the light stubble. "I love you," Kurt murmured.

Finn closed his eyes. "Love you, too."

They drove out of the cemetery in silence, and continued until Finn finally broke out of one of his rare, pensive moods.

"So," he began, mouth quirking into a sly smile. "When we get back to the hotel, how about we christen the bed for Christmas?"

Kurt gaped at him. "Finn Hudson! We just got out of a cemetery!"

Finn glanced over at him before turning onto the highway. He shrugged.

"Jesus, how your mind flies."

"Well?"

"At least take me out to dinner first, you big brute."

Finn barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "Well, I know a good Russian place."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You also know how well Stroganoff goes with my complexion."

Finn looked over at Kurt, his eyes belying a certain sadness that had only been gone for a couple seconds before Kurt had to ruin it.

_Way to go, Hummel,_ Kurt grumbled inwardly.

"Maybe we'll try Irish, then."

_Well, at least he's still willing to joke._

They arrived at a dive called Sinead's, and Finn let Kurt out of the car like the wonderful gentleman he was. Kurt was ready to go inside and get out of the cold, but Finn just backed him up against the car, cradling Kurt's face in his hands and kissing him slowly. Their noses brushed, once, twice, and Kurt was reminded of their first time at the docks. All the vulnerability and the ridiculousness that their relationship had been before they finally admitted their feelings. Kurt tipped his face up and captured Finn's lips again, savoring him and the warmth that spread from his heart outward.

When they broke apart, Finn offered his arm to him, and they walked to the door. Kurt opened the door to allow Finn in, but Finn stopped him with a question.

"Did you ever regret joining Space Fleet?"

There were many times that Kurt Hummel deeply regretted joining Space Fleet. But, looking back on it all, knowing what he knew now, he wouldn't change a thing.

"I don't think so. No."

Finn smiled. "Me neither."

-x-

Fin(n)!


End file.
